The initial encounter between two individuals who may potentially marry each other plays a vital role in the process of communication regarding matrimony. It also serves as a chance for parents or guardians to ensure that the potential partner adheres to Islamic principles related to modesty and mutual respect between the genders.
If done properly, the first meeting should be a sane and positive experience for both parties. However, if not conducted properly, it can lead to disastrous consequences.
1. Ask yourself: Why am I getting married?
Whether you are getting married because your friends and family want you to or you just feel like it is the right thing for you, there are a few things that you should consider before you make any final decisions. You should also ask yourself why you are feeling anxious about it all and try to understand what’s going on for you.
Firstly, if you are feeling pressured to get married because others will think you are wrong if you don’t, this can be very unhealthy and damaging for you. It’s important to remember that this can come from a mismatch in values and avoidant tendencies.
You can also feel this way because you are afraid of losing your independence or have relationship anxiety. If you have these issues, it is very important to seek professional help and work on them before getting married.
Another reason why you may be thinking about getting married is because you are bored and want something more fulfilling in your life. Marriage can be a very rewarding experience but can also be very difficult. If you find yourself bored in your marriage, it is likely that your values are not in line with those of your partner and this is an area where you need to explore before getting married.
A third reason why you may be thinking about getting married can be that you are ready for a new adventure and you want to start a family with someone you love. Having children is a great way to give your partner and yourself the happiness and security you both need.
You should be aware that you will have to make sacrifices when you get married and it can be very difficult if you are not prepared for this. If you are willing to work on your relationship skills, this can be very rewarding and will save you a lot of stress and pain down the road.
2. Ask your parents or guardian
If you are interested in pursuing Islamic marriage, it is best to tell your parents or guardian about your intentions from the very beginning. This will help them understand your reasons for seeking a spouse and how Islam safeguards both parties.
As a Muslim, you are expected to marry for the sake of Allah and your future family. Therefore, you should never be pressured into a marriage that you do not want or that does not benefit you in any way.
However, there are some exceptions to this rule. For example, if you are a girl who is already married and the man you are considering marrying is your brother or uncle, it may be permissible for you to ask them to approve your marriage.
Another exception is if you are a boy who is still in puberty. While it is still acceptable for a boy to date, Islam does not encourage dating before marriage. This is because it can lead to serious complications if the person you are thinking of marrying does not have a firm commitment to the faith or to the marriage.
In Islam, both boys and girls must seek the advice of their parents before they can marry. If they do not, then their parents have the right to veto the marriage and stop it at any time.
Moreover, the shariah gives girls the right to veto a marriage when they are not satisfied with the match or when they find that it would be inconvenient for them. They have the right to appeal to qada and get their wishes granted by the judge.
As a Muslim, it is important to know your rights as a person and how to use them correctly. This will allow you to make informed decisions about your future and the lives you are preparing for.
3. Ask a relative
Marriage is a serious matter and a very important part of Islam. It’s a mercy from Allah Subhannah wa ta’ala and it should be approached with the greatest of care and attention.
There are a number of things that should be discussed and agreed upon before you get married. This includes your level of Islamic knowledge and practice, your career and education plans, your home making skills and your future living arrangements (state and/or country, with in-laws or your own apartment).
If you are looking to be married to a Muslim, there are certain questions that you should ask before the first meeting to ensure that he or she is truly a halal partner. These include:
One of the most important questions to ask is whether or not he or she believes and practices Islam. If you are going to be marrying a Muslim, it is vital that he or she follows the Qur’an and Sunnah in their daily lives.
He or she should also not be wasting most of his free time doing things that are un-Islamic and do not benefit his or her deen.
A reputable and trustworthy relative, especially one that knows your potential mate well, should be able to tell you a lot about him or her and their past actions.
This person should be able to provide you with references of the person so that you can check them out thoroughly. They can include an Imam who knows the brother you’re interested in well, a sister who knows the woman you’re considering marrying well, family friends, bosses, co-workers and/or business partners.
This will help you avoid a lot of heartache and unnecessary stress later on. In addition, this will also allow you to be more sure about the man or woman you’re planning to marry.
4. Ask a friend
Many Muslims look to arranged marriages as a way to find their perfect match. This may be through friends, well-meaning community members, family or online matrimonial sites.
Arranged marriages are a legal option that allows couples to meet before their weddings to decide if they are compatible and have similar values and characteristics. In this process, both men and women must consent to the marriage.
The first meeting between a potential bride and groom can be a very difficult and stressful experience for both parties. It is important for both sides to have an objective viewpoint before making any final decisions, and this can be done by talking to a friend or someone in the family.
If the couple is able to speak openly, then it is a good idea to ask them about their beliefs and understanding of Islam. This is vital for a happy and successful marriage and will give you a better insight into whether or not they are truly Muslim and their beliefs and practices are based on a sound foundation.
Another important point to consider is their financial situation. Islamically, a man should be responsible for providing for his wife and children and not depend on her income. If he has any notions that you should help pay the bills, then this is not what Islam teaches and it can cause conflict in the future.
Choosing a life-long partner should be done with a sincere intention to get married and to find a mate who shares the same values and is dedicated to living a good life with you. This should be done through discussions and communication, but if the relationship is not working, it is also necessary to end it with love and respect for each other.
5. Ask the Imam
If the Imam is your main advisor, it may be a good idea to ask him for guidance and advice before you make a final decision on the person you are planning to marry. This will give you a better understanding of his character, his Islamic practice and deen, and if there are any underlying issues that could affect your marriage.
In general, marriage is a blessing from Allah Subhanna wa ta' ala and those who are serious about it will approach it with a high degree of care and attention. They will take utmost precautions to safeguard the sanctity of this beautiful mercy and do not allow the occasion to be used as an opportunity for extravagance or sin.
It is common to see Muslims meeting potential spouses in a variety of situations, whether it be at Muslim conferences or conventions, fundraiser dinners, regional seminars, lectures, or at the homes of relatives or friends. Unfortunately, many of these places are not regulated in accordance with Islamic guidelines for proper conduct between the sexes.
As mentioned earlier, arranged marriages are the norm in Islam, and many couples look to these meetings as a way of meeting their future spouses. This is because Muslims generally do not date in the popular Western cultural sense, and a mate's family is expected to be able to identify a good match before they meet.
But while arranged marriages are an excellent option for many, they can also be stressful and confusing. Moreover, they can be difficult for both parties to determine if the relationship is actually compatible.
The first step is to decide on a date for your initial meeting with your future husband or wife. This is the time to talk about the reasons for marriage, why you are looking for someone, and what you want in your future life. It is also important to talk about the responsibilities that will be involved in your new family. This includes how you will spend your time and how he will handle his responsibilities to you and your children.
