Weddings in Iran are significant occasions. Hosting up to 1,000 invitees, these events can impose financial burdens on the families involved.
The marriage process starts with khastegari, a courtship ritual where couples decide to marry. It's followed by bale boran, which is when they officially announce their engagement to their family.
Engagement
Persian wedding ceremonies are rooted in age-old traditions, but they are also constantly evolving and adapting to new situations.
The first phase of a Persian wedding is the engagement, or khastegari stage. This consists of finding an appropriate bride who is from the same ethnic group as the groom and then proposing marriage to her.
This usually takes place in the afternoon or at sunset. The groom and his family will visit the bride's home, carrying flowers, sweets and sometimes gold coins or jewelry to ask for her hand in marriage. If she accepts the proposal, more presents will follow.
Once the proposal is accepted, the groom and his family would then arrange a gathering with close family members. This is called bale boran and it is a celebration.
When the wedding is finally set, the couple will be seated in front of sofreh aqd (the Iranian wedding table). The table is laden with different elements that carry rich symbolism.
Among these is a basket of fruits- anar (pomegranates) and seeb (apples) which represent happiness and a bright future. A tray containing seven spices is also present- a combination of colors that represents prosperity and spiciness of life.
The groom and his parents also purchase a jewellery set to gift to the bride, which is usually expensive with precious stones. Mirror and candelabras are another important items which should be bought before the wedding.
A few days before the wedding, more gifts are sent to the bride's house from female relatives of the groom and her family. These include an engagement ring, a shawl and another present that is a nabat (concentrated sugar extract), sugar cones and other sweets.
The ceremony is then finished with a conversation of the Mehriyeh- an agreement in writing that promises the groom to pay his bride a certain amount of money or gold coins if she divorces him. It is a form of protection and security to the bride's family.
Bale Boroon
Islamic weddings in Iran have their own unique set of traditions. They have evolved over time, but they still retain many of the traditional aspects that were first introduced centuries ago.
In Iranian culture, one of the most important stages in a bride and groom's life together is called "Bale Boroon". The ceremony consists of finding an agreement (social and cultural) between the two families, then setting the date and time for their engagement and wedding.
When the bride and groom are ready to marry, they will meet each other a few times before the actual wedding. This is a process called “khastegari”. In some cases, potential partners may meet several times over years before deciding to get married.
During the khastegari, the groom's family brings flowers and gifts to the bride. Some of these gifts include a piece of cloth, a gold ring and sometimes a sugar cone.
Once the khastegari is completed, the bride and groom will move to the groom's home for an evening meal. This is a very special meal where the couple will receive gifts from the groom's family.
The groom's family will also bring a tray of food for the bride and her friends. The meal will consist of a variety of foods and breads. The table will also have some of the same symbols as those on the Sofreh Aghd.
For example, the table will have a mirror and candlesticks which represent immortality to the couple. It will also have some coins for prosperity and wealth.
There will also be a tray of spices for protecting against evil eyes and other important items. These are all things that the bride and groom will use in their marriage for the rest of their lives.
In Iranian culture, the wedding ring is very important for the couple. The ring should be of high quality and it should have diamonds in it. It is very important that the groom's parents pay for this ring, and they will gift it to the bride after the marriage.
Another tradition is that the groom's family will buy a new pair of shoes for the bride. The bride will then put her feet into these shoes to prove that she is now ready for marriage and her future husband.
Sofreh Aqd
A Sofreh Aqd is a Persian wedding tradition that has been practiced for thousands of years. During this ceremony, the bride and groom exchange legal marriage vows and ceremonial traditions that are meant to symbolize their new life together.
The Sofreh Aqd, or table of wedding, is an elaborate spread with many symbolic items that represent different elements of their new marriage. The Sofreh Aqd is mainly symbolic and a symbol of the traditional union of the bride and groom, but is also customised according to each individual couple’s wishes.
Some of the symbols that are traditionally used include a mirror, candles which represent light, nuts and eggs which represent fertility, coins which represent wealth and prosperity and flowers which represent love and happiness.
Another element of Sofreh Aqd is wild rue incense which is burned to drive away any negativity or malice intent. Rose water is also included to perfume the air and make it a more pleasant place to be during this part of the wedding ceremony.
Female relatives of the couple are invited to help the couple with their Sofreh Aqd and are asked to hold a fine white cloth over their heads throughout the entire ceremony. The ladies then grind and tap two sugar cones over the couple, which blesses them with sweet futures.
The Sofreh Aqd is also a place where a couple may choose to have a rosary or a prayer book. This is done to remind the couple of their faith and the importance of prayer, which is a key part of Islamic weddings.
Termeh (a hand-woven Iranian fabric) is a part of the Sofreh Aqd and if a couple are Muslim they will usually place it in front of them as a sign of their faith. It is a very expensive piece of hand-made fabric that is normally included in the dowry if the couple can afford it and will eventually become a collector’s item.
The Sofreh Aqd is one of the most significant parts of a Persian wedding and although traditions have changed, they are still very important. Despite their variations, the main things that remain the same are the importance of incense and the inclusion of rose water to perfume the air.
Marriage
In Iran, the marriage ceremony is considered to be one of the most important events in a person's life. It is a time when two people come together to make a commitment to each other, and it also provides them with the opportunity to ask for their parents' consent.
The wedding ceremony consists of a number of rituals and is performed by a priest or other males who have been chosen as witnesses. Normally older and married males are chosen for this purpose among the closest relatives of the bride or groom.
Before the marriage takes place, the couple will have a private meeting called Khastegari in which they are served tea and sweets. It is a chance for the potential bride to have some small talk with her groom's family before the official engagement ceremony, which will follow soon after.
For many Iranians, khastegari is the first step in finding their perfect match. It is a long process that varies by culture.
Some families find their ideal mate within their own group of relatives, while others may seek out women who are from different cultural or economic groups. They may also be looking for a particular characteristic in a bride, such as modesty, intelligence, beauty, or faith.
Eventually, the couple will be arranged to meet in the presence of their parents and other relatives. During this time, they will be asked to sign a legal contract and the groom's family is expected to pay a bride price (mahr) that will ensure her financial well-being.
Once the mahr is paid, they will be legally married. The priest will perform the ceremony and both sides will then sign a marriage contract. The agreement can include clauses pertaining to the rights of the bride and her future children, property rights, etc.
After the formal part of the marriage ceremony, the bride and groom are invited to a banquet or reception for family and friends. They will be served with cakes and other pastries, fruits, vegetables, nuts and other food items. Guests will also be served with alcohol, usually whisky beer and vodka.
