The teachings of the Qur'an and Hadith underscore that for all Muslim faithful, marriage is a religious obligation. It represents a bond grounded in trust, respect, and loyalty.
When both husband and wife agree to the marriage, they sign a contract called the Nikkah, which is a legal binding contract. It is witnessed by a male from each family.
Marriage in Islam
The Islamic religion teaches that marriage is one of the most important obligations a Muslim should undertake in his life. This is because, from an Islamic point of view, marriages are the basic unit of human society and the foundation of family. They are also a vital commitment to the preservation of the human race.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “It is better for a man to marry than for him to live as a single person.” Islam regards marriage as a serious and responsible devotion to Allah. It is a very challenging commitment, and is an integral part of the Islamic lifestyle.
It is a legal contract between a man and a woman, known as the nikah. The contract includes the essential conditions necessary to create the marriage relationship and to guarantee its validity.
According to Islamic law, the only requisites for a valid marriage are mutual consent and capacity to enter into the agreement. Neither writing nor a recorded ceremony is necessary to make the agreement binding; witnesses on the occasion are sufficient.
However, Muslims are strongly urged to publicise the fact of their marriage to the wider community. This may take the form of a valimah or marriage feast, a party thrown at the bride's house when she is first taken to her husband's home.
Although marriage is a very serious commitment, it is a partnership that requires both parties to play their parts and to be fair to one another. The Qur'an teaches that the husband and wife should be there for each other, stick together both in good and bad times, conceal each other's weaknesses and complement one another.
In addition, both the husband and wife are expected to be faithful and to care for each other's needs as well as those of their children. This is important because, if both spouses are not devoted to each other and to their children, the marriage will fail and will be detrimental to the entire Islamic community.
In fact, it is considered an evil and a sin for a husband to divorce his wife in Islam. This is because divorce is not a matter of declaration but of law in Islam and special conditions should be met before an allegation can be made and sustained. In this regard, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon Him) commanded his wives to return to him within four months of their divorce from him.
Premarital Counseling
Premarital counseling helps couples prepare for marriage and ensure that they are on the same page about how to approach certain topics that may be difficult to discuss. It also teaches them communication skills and how to resolve conflicts without having to resort to violence.
Muslim couples often have unique challenges and issues in their relationships. These could include financial difficulties, differing religious beliefs, and differences in parenting styles. These problems can affect the couple’s relationship and wreak havoc in their married life.
Counseling can help Muslim couples deal with these issues before they become serious. A counselor can help them understand the reasons behind their conflicts and how to work through these issues in a healthy manner, thereby building a stronger bond between them.
The benefits of premarital counseling are numerous, including: Improved communication - Effective communication is essential in any relationship, but especially in a marriage. This can help partners resolve conflicts more quickly and increase their overall happiness in their relationship.
Setting realistic expectations - Many couples enter marriage with unrealistic expectations of their spouse and end up having conflicts as a result. These unrealistic expectations can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings in the long run, so it’s important to have an open discussion with your partner about what you both hope to achieve during and after marriage.
Recognizing how cultural differences affect a relationship - Differences in family of origin and cultural values can have an impact on the way a couple thinks and acts, which can make a big difference in their daily lives. A therapist can help you recognize your own values and those of your partner and assist you in working out compromises that will ensure you both feel respected, appreciated, and cherished by your partner.
Eliminating dysfunctional behaviour - A counsellor can teach you and your partner how to eliminate unhealthy and dysfunctional behaviors like anger, dominance, and addiction. This can help to build a more stable and loving relationship that will last for the long haul.
Premarital counseling can be a valuable part of the marriage preparation process, and it’s important to find a reputable counselor who has experience working with Muslim couples. A good place to start is Regain, a leading mental health platform that connects clients with a large number of Muslim marriage counselors who offer online relationship counseling through video calls, live chats, and phone calls.
The Nikah Ceremony
Nikah is a Muslim marriage ceremony that secures the relationship in front of Allah. It is the only recognized way to marry in Islam.
The Nikah ceremony can be performed in a mosque or by an Imam (a religious official). Both the bride and groom have to agree to it.
Once the couple is both committed, they will sign a written marriage contract. This is called the “Aqd-Nikah.” It will be signed by both the bride and groom and their witnesses.
In addition, the couple will have to meet several times prior to the Nikah ceremony. This is to determine if they are compatible as a couple. It is important for the couple to meet with a Muslim family member or chaperon so that the couple can talk about any concerns they may have regarding their future together.
After the Nikah is complete, a banquet is held for the guests of the bride and groom. This is a festive occasion that is usually attended by extended families and friends of both the couple.
During the banquet, the newlyweds will share food and sweets with their guests. They will also give out Islamic gifts, such as attar sets and 99 names of Allah paintings.
The Mehar is a dowry that is offered by the groom to the bride’s family during the Nikah ceremony. This dowry is meant to ensure the financial security of the bride. This dowry can be anything that the bride and groom desire, including money, jewelry, or properties.
One way that the groom and bride can decide on the size of the Mehar is to discuss it with each other prior to the Nikah ceremony. This will help the groom’s family know exactly what to expect on his behalf, and will make the bride’s family feel more comfortable about the dowry that is being offered.
Traditionally, the father of the bride (the Wali) will represent her during the Nikah ceremony. However, in modern times, the couple can choose to have another male guardian or family member act on their behalf during the Nikah ceremony.
Post-Nikah Issues
The Islamic concept of marriage involves a legal union in which both spouses agree to live together in an obedient manner. It is a partnership of love and dedication that is intended to be mutually beneficial, producing children who will become responsible Muslims. It also serves as a safeguard against social degeneration and moral decay in society.
The husband must take responsibility for his wife’s welfare and maintenance, to include providing her with a home, food, clothing, and other essential needs. He must also provide her with a stable and righteous environment to raise their children.
As part of their marriage, the husband and wife will both have to recite the Qur’an and pray regularly. In addition, they must attend weekly prayer sessions and participate in Islamic learning classes.
If one of the spouses is unable to fulfill their commitments to each other, the other spouse can petition for a divorce. The Qur’an recognizes a divorce by mutual agreement, which occurs when both parties feel that their obedience to Allah would be harmed through the continuation of the marriage.
For example, if the husband or wife is sick and cannot perform their duties to each other, or they have lost their job and are unable to provide for themselves, a divorce may be reached. This type of divorce is only permitted when both parties are willing to do so and are able to work out a fair division of assets.
Another type of divorce in Islam is talaq, which is pronounced when the husband or wife has committed a sexual act with their spouse, even though they have not received the other party’s consent to do so. This type of divorce is permitted if the act has been committed in a way that is not against the law.
Another important aspect of a Muslim marriage is the commitment to Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He). It is the husband’s duty to perform the prayers and to provide his wife with a stable and righteous environment, while also acting as her trusted advisor.
